UFITE UMUKUNZI? URUBATSE? DORE AMABANGA 10 YABAFASHA KURAMBANA

Ubusanzwe kugira ngo urukundo rukomere kandi rurame, bisaba abarurimo bombi kubigiramo uruhare rwimbitse kandi ruhoraho. Muri make, rurahingirwa, rugafumbirwa, rukabagarirwa, rukuhirwa, rukitabwaho mu buryo bwose kuko nta wifuza urukundo rudakura. Dore rero bimwe mu byabafasha kugira urukundo rurambye:

1. Mugirirane ibanga ku birebana n’ubuzima bwanyu bwite: Iyo mutangiye gushyira ubuzima bwanyu bw’urukundo ku karubanda nko ku mbuga nkoranyambaga, mu makoraniro ya benshi n’ahandi, muba mutumiye isi yose mu rukundo rwanyu. Nimwibikire ibibazo byanyu, mubyikemurire, kuko urukundo ruri hagati yanyu uko muri babiri, kandi ibyarwo ni mwe bireba mbere na mbere. Kuba mwagirana ikibazo ababazi n’ababakurikirana bose bakarara babimenye bibaha urwaho rwo kubavangira. Yego muranyuzwe, muraryohewe kandi ntimutewe ipfunwe n’ipfundo ry’urukundo rwanyu! Mushobora gushyiraho bimwe mu bihe byiza cyangwa amafoto meza muri kumwe, kuri Instagram, Facebook n’ahandi ariko ntimuzarengere bitazatuma muhora mwumva mwakwereka bose ibyanyu byose, n’ibitari ngombwa.

2. Nimwimenyere uburyo bwo guhangana n’amakimbirane abavutseho: Bitewe n’uko uzi umukunzi wawe, hari uburyo bwinshi wamenya uko wamufasha mugakemura agatotsi kaje mu rukundo rwanyu ku buryo ako kabazo gato kavutse katababera imbarutso yo gutandukana, ahubwo kakarushaho gukomeza urukundo rwanyu. Kutumvikana birasanzwe kandi bibaho mu rukundo, nta zibana zidakomana amahembe, ariko icya mbere ni ukumvikana mwembi hagati yanyu, mukamenya uko mwikemurira ibibazo. Yego ushobora kuba wagisha inama byakuyobeye, cg se mugashaka abo musobanurira ibibazo byanyu, baba inshuti cg umuryango, ariko ibyo muzabikore ariko byabarenze koko. Ubundi umuti ni mwebwe mwembi muwifitiye kurusha ko undi uwo ari we wese yawubaha.

3. Nimwige gutegana amatwi: Iyo witoje kuvuga make ukihatira gutega amatwi cyane mu rukundo, bituma ruramba. Bisaba ko wumva umukunzi wawe, ugatega amatwi ibyo akubwira utamuca mu ijambo ngo umutarukane, cyangwa ngo uhugire mu bindi, kandi na we akakumva. Niba umubajije uko umunsi we wagenze, tega amatwi ubyumve igihe agusobanurira, unagire ibyo umubaza, ibyo bizamwereka ko yakubwiraga umwitayeho.

4. Mugire igihe cyo gukundana byihariye: Kumarana igihe cyihariye n’umukunzi wawe ni ingenzi niba koko ushaka urukundo rurambye kandi ruhamye. Nta cyaruta igihe muba muri kumwe. N’ubwo waba ugira akazi kenshi kaguhuza, mushakire igihe n’ubwo cyaba gito, musohokane, muganire, mukine, museke nibishoboka mumarane umwanya munini mwembi. Ibyo bizatuma umurunga w’urukundo rwanyu urushaho gukomera, kuko muba mwubaka amateka muzajya mwibuka, akabakomeza ndetse n’igihe mugeze mu bihe bigoye byo gushwana cg kutumvikana ku bintu.

5. Mugerageza kuba abanyakuri: Abakundana batabeshyana ntibahishanya, babwirana iby’ingenzi byose n’ubwo ukuri kose atari ngombwa ko kuvugwa. Kugira ngo wubake urukundo ruhamye rero, biba byiza kubwiza ukuri kose umukunzi wawe, ukamufungukira, ntiwumve ko hari ibyo wamuhisha, kuko nutangira kumuhisha na we bizatuma akubanira gutyo. Kugira ngo rero ibi ngibi ubishobore, nuko mu gihe cyose uri mu rukundo, warabyiyemeje, ugomba gutangira kugira imyitwarire myiza, imyitwarire idahisha utuntu, ya myitwarire iciye mu mucyo ku buryo nta cyawe na kimwe kigutera isoni kukibwira uwo mukundana, cg ngo wikange ko ukimubwiye cg akakimenya byabatera gushwana.

6. Mugerageze gukora ibintu bishya igihe muri kumwe: N’iyo kaba ari akantu gato nko kurebana filime mutararebana mwembi, gukorana siporo nshya, kuririmba, gutemberera ahantu mutarajya n’ibindi, ibintu nk’ibi bikomeza umubano wanyu kuko musangira ibishya, bikanabaryohera, bikabahuza cyane.

7. Mubwirane uko umwe abona undi: Mubwire, muhe compliments… Niba ubona yambaye neza urabuzwa n’iki kubimubwira? Nutabimubwira akabibwirwa n’abandi wumva azabifata ate? Niba yagukoreye ikintu kikakunyura, kuki utamushimira? Niba byakunyuze cyane, kuki udashima cyane kurushaho? Iyo umubwiye uko umubona bituma yumva ari udasanzwe agaterwa ishema n’uko ubibona. Kandi iyo ukundana n’umuntu ugufata nk’udasanzwe, bigushyiramo ikizere gikomeye, ukamukunda nta kugira ishyari risenya (jalousie nyinshi) kuko uba uzi neza ko hari byinshi wibitseho bituma agukunda n’umutima we wose, kuko ahora abikubwira, ahora abikwibutsa.

8. Ntimukihe rubanda: Uko ufata umukunzi wawe n’uburyo umwitwaraho mu bandi bishobora kubaka cyangwa bigasenya urukundo rwanyu. Niba akoze ikosa ukihutira kumucyaha no kumukosora mu bantu, ni ikosa ribi kandi rigayitse. Ukwiye kumushyigikira, yaba akoze ibidakwiye, ugakora ku buryo umuhanura ari uko mugeze ahiherereye. Ariko ntabwo bikwiriye kwerekana abantu ko ufite ibyo unenga umukunzi wawe, cg se ko mutumvikana ku bintu. Icyo gihe uba utangiye guha urwaho ba bandi bashaka gusenya iz’abandi bategereje gutizwa umuhoro, kandi nanone utuma uwo mukundana atigiramo ikizere, ku buryo ahora ahangayikishijwe n’uko isaha n’isaha wamuta ukishakira abandi. 

9. Murangwe n’ubufatanye: Ubufatanye ni ingenzi niba wifuza kurambana n’umukunzi wawe. Hari ibyo ugomba kumufasha nawe hari ibyo agomba kugufasha nk’abantu bakundana kandi bateganya kurambana. Uko mukomeza ubufatanye buri munsi, mu magambo, mu bitekerezo no mu bikorwa, mugenda mwubaka urufatiro rwo kuramba k’urukundo rwanyu.

10. Ntuzarambirwe kuvuga ijambo ‘Ndagukunda’, ‘mbabarira’ na ‘urakoze’: Iri jambo rito “Ndagukunda”,”mbabarira”, “urakoze” rirakomeye cyane kandi rikomeza urukundo ku kigero udashobora kwiyumvisha. Utitaye ku buryo waba uremerewe, cyangwa se uko umunsi wawe wakugoye, utitaye ku cyubahiro wiyumvamo cyangwa ubundi buhangange, utitaye kuri byinshi byagutera kumva ko ukaze, ntuzibagirwe gusaba imbabazi igihe wakosheje, ntuzirengagize kumushimira igihe agukoreye ikintu kiza, ntuzasoze umunsi utabwiye umukunzi wawe ko umukunda.